The Couples’ Stumbling Block of Blame

A place in which I see couples, in my private practice, stumble and blame one another is where one party acts based on the unconscious assumption that the other is responsible for “pushing my buttons.” What is actually happening is that a story of our core wounding, as I’ve written, is being triggered. For instance, if our own unconscious vulnerability or painful narrative arises in conjunction with something that our partner does or does not do, then we might well blame our partner for hurting us. Actually, in this kind of situation, it’s the reverse. We are really hurting ourselves. What is the story of your own core wounding? How has it hurt you in a relationship?